MySpace. Not even once.

My daughter Jess came up with the line I'm using as this entry's title. (ASIDE/BRAG: I thank God every day that she's not old enough to drive yet, because we have so much fun together on the daily commute. Her topics of conversation range from "When a bad haircut means goodbye" to "Already on Round Two, and it's only 8th Grade." And yes, you sick, twisted freaks, I'll get her to write for this blog a little more often, since clearly she's more interesting than I.)

Ahem. So back to the subject of today's post: MySpace. In the category of time-wasters, this one has no equal, except possibly Second Life which doesn't really count since you have to be insane enough to shell out actual dollars to play there. MySpace's endless parade of videos of stupid pet tricks and human folly (many high-graded from YouTube but many more the original creations of real-life-deprived computer geeks like me) plus the prurient joys of being able to spy on your teenage kids or connect with others who share your excessively obscure interests (harajuku trends, ultramarathoning while reciting the rosary, rare manga italian charms, obsession with the VictoriaBot, etc.) make this the world's town square.

MySpace is fun and stupid. What's not to like?

Well, for one thing, the stodgy e-holes who've decided this is the place to go viral with their latest marketing campaign. I'm not talking about film or music, since MySpace is practically built on the word-of-mouth that fires them. I'm not talking about the cool small businesses who share their loveliness (like Caribou Collectibles of Maine) and inspire me as a fellow business owner.

I mean those Internet ponzi-scheme dorks who desperately latch on to anything in the hopes it will make them an easy buck (didn't we already see all of you at the launch of every other Internet innovation?). Not any better are the "train" folks who use fake electronic means to rack up a big Friends list (SomethingOrOther 2.0, etc.). Or, I guess, whatever floats your boat.

Aside from those d-bags, it's a great global community. It's addictive, and you've been warned. MySpace. Not even once.